Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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