Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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