How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
