This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
