Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
