You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
