Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
