apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
