Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
she looked like the before picture.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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