can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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