she was so not down for the gang bang
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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