you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
