i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
