It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
i now understand why vodka
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
