oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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