so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
