"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
