You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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