so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
