About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
