Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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