Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
