I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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