I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
