Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
