idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
