i don't like sucking hair
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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