Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
