no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
