She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
