My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
