Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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