Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
