capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
