butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
