my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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