2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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