so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
