he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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