why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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