So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
