so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
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