wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
