Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
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I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
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you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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