Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
