Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
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I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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