Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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