Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
