He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
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