Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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