The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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