my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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