Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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