Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
