I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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