So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
