u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
