well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
