I murdered the dance floor call the cops
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
